The Best Landmarks Were the People

One of the most memorable moments of my recent trip to England happened in a parking lot outside the Bristol train station.

I was looking for my friend Cat.

Now technically, we were meeting for the first time. But also… not really.

Cat and I have been friends and peer coaching partners for more than four years. We’ve had countless Friday appointments — mornings for me, afternoons for her — talking over Zoom about work, life, dreams, struggles, ideas, business, faith, and everything in between. We’ve supported each other through a lot.

And then suddenly there she was. Walking toward me in three dimensions instead of appearing in a little rectangle on my laptop screen.

The hug we shared felt both completely ordinary and strangely surreal.  

Like, “Oh yes. Of course it’s you.”

And yet I held on a little longer than a typical hug.

Before the trip, I assumed the moments I’d remember most would be the big things:
London landmarks.
Historic sites.
Beautiful cathedrals.
Picturesque villages.
All the things you’re “supposed” to see in England.

And those things really were wonderful.

But now that I’m home — sorting through piles of laundry and approximately 47,000 photos — I’ve realized the moments replaying most vividly in my mind weren’t the landmarks at all.

They were the people.

When Online Relationships Become Real-Life Relationships

Sitting at Cat’s kitchen table eating bowls of Fruit & Fibre cereal.

Getting ice cream from a Mr. Whippy truck.

Hearing that Friday at 3 pm BST — the time we usually meet on Zoom — is apparently known in her household as “Kathy o’clock.”

Seeing her full office instead of the tiny sliver I normally glimpse behind her on camera.

Meeting her family. Going to their favorite pub. Hearing stories about where she grew up, how she met her husband, places they’d lived, experiences she’d had — all the kinds of stories that somehow never emerge naturally in coaching conversations.

And that was part of what struck me most.

Our friendship was already real.

Deeply real.

I don’t believe meaningful relationships require physical proximity. Some of the most important people in my life live far away, and technology has allowed relationships to grow and flourish in ways that simply weren’t possible a generation ago.

But being together in person added texture to the relationship.

Dimension.
Context.
Warmth.

It allowed us to share life, not just conversation.

There’s something different about sitting across a table from someone while life unfolds around you.

The Power of Being Present in Someone Else’s World

I experienced something similar meeting up with my friend Jonathan in London.

Jonathan facilitated a virtual creative problem solving course I took back in 2020, and honestly, his teaching and encouragement played a meaningful role in helping me imagine what eventually became Teal Horizon Coaching. During a season when I was still trying to figure out who I was becoming and what direction I was heading, he helped affirm gifts and possibilities I was only beginning to see in myself.

Since that time, I’ve met Jonathan in person at creativity conferences in Buffalo. But conferences are their own strange little universe. Lots of sessions and schedules and networking and rushing around.

This felt different.

This was getting to walk through his city.
Introducing him to my husband.
Hearing more about his life and family and story.
Talking not just about work, but about life and the world and current events and all sorts of ordinary things.

And I loved hearing one of my favorite British expressions across the table instead of over Zoom.

Brilliant.

There’s just something about the way Brits use that word. Warm. Genuine. Delightful. I’ve heard Jonathan say it often, but to hear it over dinner as we shared stories and drinks?

Brilliant.

Relationships That Grow Across Seasons of Life

And then there was Sophie.

The daughter of dear friends who live in the States, we’ve known Sophie since she was born. Ours has not been an online relationship or an intense one built through deep conversations. It’s been one built slowly across years — birthday cards, annual vacations, catching glimpses of each other’s lives over time.

But now Sophie is 23 and living in London while completing graduate school, and getting to spend time with her there felt unexpectedly meaningful too.

There was something delightful about letting her show us around her city.

Hearing about her dissertation.
The friendships she’s built.
The life she’s creating for herself.
The possibility of staying in London longer.

At one point we were laughing over old photos of us holding her as a baby while simultaneously having fully adult conversations about her future.

That felt strangely sacred somehow.

Why Human Connection Feels So Nourishing

And the more I’ve reflected on this trip, the more I think all of these moments were revealing something important to me.

Not just about travel.

About life.

Because I think many of us are living in a strange tension right now.

We are more connected than ever.
And yet many of us feel somewhat disconnected.

We communicate constantly.
Texts.
Emails.
Zoom calls.
Social media updates.
Voice notes.
Group chats.

We know what people are doing.
What they ate.
Where they traveled.
What promotion they got.
What their kids are up to.

And yet sometimes our lives still feel relationally thin.

Fragmented.

A little undernourished. Not lonely exactly. But not entirely connected either.

I wonder if part of what felt so restorative about this trip wasn’t simply “vacation.”

I wonder if it was shared presence.

Unhurried conversation.
Lingering at tables.
Walking side-by-side.
Experiencing places with people instead of merely consuming experiences.

I wonder if many of us have slowly adapted to relationships that fit into efficient little spaces around the edges of busy lives.

And maybe we don’t even realize what we’ve been missing until we experience it again.

Why People Blocks Matter

One of the things I teach my coaching clients — and continually have to remind myself — is that People Blocks matter.

In the time management framework I use, there are Present Blocks and People Blocks.

Present Blocks are the ways we remain present to ourselves through things like rest, reflection, self-care, soul care, creativity, and renewal.

People Blocks are intentional time with the people who are life-giving to us.

Work matters.
Projects matter.
Responsibilities matter.
Deadlines and tasks and productivity all have their place.

But I’ve learned that when those things consume all the oxygen in our lives, something starts to feel… thinner somehow.

Less whole.
Less grounded.
Less alive.

And England reminded me that even on vacation, People Blocks may have been the most meaningful part of the entire trip.

Not because the landmarks weren’t wonderful.

But because human beings are not actually nourished by accomplishment, optimization, efficiency, or consumption nearly as much as we think we are.

Sometimes what nourishes us most is simply being fully present with people who help us feel more fully ourselves.

Brilliant.

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