An Upgrade, Not a Decline
A quick note for my male readers: the next few posts are about menopause and perimenopause. Skip them if you wish. Or stay—perhaps they’ll offer insight into the women you know and love.
I had no idea.
I thought menopause was just the name for the end of monthly periods. (Hooray!)
At best, I would have described menopause as the time when your menstrual cycles stop, sometimes accompanied by minor side effects like hot flashes and mood swings. I thought it was something that happened over a couple of years, and then you move on with life.
I sort of understood that for some women it involved some grief about losing their fertility. (As a woman who has lived through unexplained infertility, that particular grief wasn’t something I was worried about experiencing. Been there, done that. The grief of that loss has been a companion for many years now.)
And, really, how would I have known anything more about menopause? My mom had a complete hysterectomy when I was 5. She went through menopause in a day. (OK, that’s probably not fully true, but it’s not like we were having in-depth conversations about it after I got home from kindergarten…)
As a result, this concludes the totality of what I knew about menopause before 2025.
A New Stage
But I guess just like there’s a season of life when all the conversations are about boyfriends, or weddings, or babies, there’s also a season of life when the conversations are all about menopause. I’ve hit that stage.
In the past couple of years, including (maybe especially) when I’m at business networking events, one topic has come up more than any other. The challenges of growing revenue? The impact of tariffs on business? AI? No, no, and maybe, but no. It’s menopause.
It’s not surprising, really. Women over 50 start businesses at a higher rate than any other group, so I’m encountering women who are a lot like me. We are overwhelmed as we navigate the uncharted waters of entrepreneurship, and we’re doing it while the ship is being rocked by the waves of this massive life change.
And let me be clear, it’s not only entrepreneurs that I’m having these conversations with. My friends, my clients, women participating in training sessions that I’m leading are all referencing this transition. The topic showed up in the Chat of a session I was facilitating on Zoom for a group of administrative professionals.
And I swear, it’s not because I keep bringing it up. They are bringing it up. You are bringing it up.
Because it’s unsettling. And because it matters.
Where I’m Coming From
I’m not a doctor or a menopause expert – and I’m not trying to be.
What I’m sharing here comes from my own experience, from one trusted source that gave me language for what I was living, and from listening to women in midlife who are navigating significant transitions in work, life, and relationships.
I’m still learning. And if you see yourself here, maybe you’re in a season of learning, too.
One of the resources that helped me understand what was actually happening in this season was The Upgrade: How the Female Brain Gets Stronger and Better in Midlife and Beyond by Dr. Louann Brizendine.
What stayed with me wasn’t a checklist of symptoms or a set of solutions, but a deeper understanding of the breadth of what menopause touches—our bodies, our brains, our relationships, our capacity, and even our sense of purpose. And alongside that, a possibility I hadn’t really considered before: that this season might not just be something to get through, but something we could grow into - and something that could make us better.
I’m not here to teach the book or summarize it. I’m simply naming the language and perspective that helped me see this season more clearly—and more hopefully.
Why This Season Matters
I’m learning that this season is about far more than one biological marker.
What’s actually happening unfolds slowly, over time. Hormones shift. And because hormones influence how our brains function, they affect far more than we tend to expect. Not just our bodies, but our capacity. Our tolerance. Our sense of who we are and how we want to live.
I’ll be honest—I had no idea how much of life hormones touched. At the risk of sounding too crass, I thought it was mostly about genitals and mood swings.
Then, shortly after turning fifty, I developed plantar fasciitis. When my podiatrist started explaining why this often shows up at midlife, he began with, “Usually around your age, women become less flexible…”
Wait—what?
Hormones were causing my foot to hurt?
Apparently, yes.
But it wasn’t just my feet. Or night sweats.
If you’re anything like me, maybe you’ve noticed:
Feeling more easily annoyed by things – or people – that never used to bother you as much
A stronger urge to speak your mind, even if it may not be well-received
Difficulty focusing when there’s a lot going on
Less capacity – or desire – to juggle all the things you used to
A growing sense that who you are, and what you value, is shifting
For a while I thought it was just me. And as usual, I thought I could just try harder to get back to how I used to be.
Now, I’m beginning to see these experiences differently. Not as personal shortcomings or signs that something is wrong, but as part of a transition I’m living into.
And I’m starting to realize that maybe “who I used to be” doesn’t need to be the goal.
Maybe there’s an upgrade who is worth pursuing.
A Teal Period
People sometimes ask if I recommend The Upgrade so often because the cover is teal.
No… but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t delight me.
Not because I love the color—you know I do—but because of what it means.
Teal symbolizes self-leadership, wholeness, and purpose. It’s a prominent part of my brand because those are the three things that I most want to cultivate in my own life and bring into the world through my work.
And as it turns out, menopause presses right on all three.
I’m experiencing a new need for discernment in how I lead my life—learning when I need to accept the changes that are happening to me, and when to resist and make intentional choices. Learning more about menopause – and what’s possible after it – is helping me make informed and proactive choices that will (hopefully) lead me into the life I’d like to live.
I’ve learned that while menopause begins in my body, it doesn’t end there. The ripple effects are inviting me to tend to the whole of my life in deeper ways.
And then there’s purpose.
I thought that my sense of purpose changed simply because my career changed. Now I’m beginning to see the process that’s been at work in my life that connects all of those threads. More on this in a few weeks, but this connection between menopause and purpose is the main thing that blew my mind and sparked such passion in me about this topic.
All of this has me wondering if menopause might be a very “teal period” of our life. (Pun intended, of course.)
What’s This Like for You?
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more about challenges I’m hearing about – and living myself. So I’d love to hear from you: If you’re right here in the middle with me, what’s this like for you?
I can’t wave a magic wand to “solve it.” But I don’t think you’d want me to anyhow. Sometimes it’s enough to know that we’re not alone on the journey. At the very least, I can make space to hold your experiences and affirm you in the process.
I think there’s an Upgrade available to us. I’m curious to see what it’s like, and I’d love to explore it with you.
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