From Doubt to Action: A Simple Process to Break Free from Self-Sabotage
This post is part of The Goal-Getter Series—practical insights and simple strategies to help you stop spinning, stay focused, and actually finish what you start.
We’re covering the five biggest reasons we don’t achieve our goals – AND what to do about it. So far, we’ve explored:
Reason #1: Too Many Goals, Not Enough Time
Reason #2: The Goal Isn’t Clear or Compelling Enough
Reason #3: No Real Plan
Reason #4: No Regular Review
Today, we’ll dive into what might be the most real – and challenging reason of all… our own mindset and internal resistance.
The Enemy Within: When We Hold Ourselves Back
Sometimes the biggest obstacles aren’t external—they’re internal.
We make the list. We create the plan. We set the goal.
And yet… something still stops us from following through.
I love the process I shared a couple of weeks ago about how to create a plan that works. But sometimes I overdo it – spending too much time “tweaking my plan” under the guise of “preparing well,” when I’m really just procrastinating because I’m facing doubt or fear.
It reminds me of the quote from an old Walt Kelly Pogo comic strip:
“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
I’ve been there. And I see it all the time in my clients, too. It’s not laziness or lack of willpower—it’s the invisible tug-of-war happening inside our own minds.
When the Inner Critic Takes the Wheel
Most of us have at least one of these uninvited passengers riding along: fear, doubt, or perfectionism. You might recognize these feelings as procrastination. But here’s the thing—procrastination isn’t the root problem. It’s just the symptom. Usually, it’s fear, doubt, or perfectionism quietly running the show.
Fear can show up as the thought, “What if I fail?” or “What will others think?” It surfaces when we feel vulnerable.
Doubt whispers, “Who am I to do this?” or “I don’t think I can do this,” convincing us to play small.
Perfectionism tells us, “I’ll start once it’s ready,” when we know deep down it may never feel ready.
And then there’s overwhelm, the quiet cousin of fear. It shows up when our brains try to protect us from uncertainty by freezing. Too many steps, too many options, too much pressure… and suddenly we’re doing nothing at all.
But here’s the good news: these inner roadblocks don’t mean something’s wrong with us. They’re just signs that our brains are trying (and failing) to keep us safe. The key is learning how to work with those thoughts instead of being ruled by them.
Sometimes I think of these responses as uninvited passengers on a bus I’m driving. I’ve found it helpful to tell them they can stay on the bus—but they cannot drive it. Trying to ignore or suppress these normal emotions never really works. Allowing them to be present, while letting them know they can’t run the show, creates the space for something new.
Change Your Mind to Change Your Results
One of the most powerful tools I use in coaching is based on a simple truth:
Our thoughts generate our emotions, and our emotions drive our behavior.
If we want to change what we’re doing, we have to start by changing what we’re thinking.
Here’s the process I often use with clients (and myself):
Name the thought or belief behind the struggle.
Notice the emotion(s) that thought stirs up.
Recognize the behavior that follows—action, reaction, or inaction. (For example, that hesitation, putting things off, or endless tweaking? That’s often procrastination showing up.)
Decide how you’d like to respond instead.
Name the emotion that would support that response.
Choose a new thought that fuels that emotion and action.
It sounds simple on paper, but it can be deeply transformative. Let me show you how it works in real life.
When the Story You Tell Yourself Changes
Lucia’s Story – From “I Don’t Deserve” to “I’m Worth It”
Lucia came to me frustrated because she couldn’t seem to get things done—especially something as basic as cleaning her apartment. It had gotten so out of hand that she felt embarrassed to have anyone over. The shame she felt about the clutter kept her stuck in a loop of avoidance.
As we talked, she realized the problem wasn’t that she didn’t know what to do—it was what she believed. Beneath the surface was a painful thought: “I don’t deserve a nice, clean space.”
That belief triggered shame, which led to paralysis.
When we unpacked it using the thought–emotion–behavior process, Lucia discovered that what she really wanted to feel was peace and pride. To get there, she needed a new thought—one rooted in truth.
Her reframe became: “I’m worth it.”
From that place, she started taking small, steady steps. One drawer. One counter. One room at a time.
Sometimes it’s not about cleaning the house. It’s about cleaning up the story we’ve been telling ourselves.
Shannon’s Story – From “I Never Follow Through” to “I Can Do Hard Things”
Shannon dreamed of starting her own business, a major career shift that would require learning new skills. She’d get excited, take a few small steps, and then feel overwhelmed by everything she didn’t know. Soon, she’d back away.
More than that, she carried an old narrative: “I always fizzle out.” She could list every time she’d started something and lost momentum.
When we worked through the same process, Shannon realized her story wasn’t the whole truth. She began naming times when she had been consistent—projects she’d finished, goals she’d achieved, hard seasons she’d endured.
As she reframed her thought from “I never follow through” to “I can do hard things; I’ve done them before,” her energy shifted. She no longer approached her dream with self-doubt, but with quiet confidence.
Changing the story didn’t erase the challenge—but it changed her capacity to meet it.
Name It. Question It. Reframe It.
If you recognize yourself in these stories, try this:
Name it: What story or belief is holding me back right now?
Question it: Is this true—or just familiar?
Reframe it: What’s another way to see this? What truth would move me forward?
If perfectionism is holding you back, you might consider “What’s the alternative?” In other words, if you keep waiting, what will happen then? Instead, try living by this mantra:
“Imperfect action beats perfect inaction every day.”
Or if you prefer, “Don’t let ‘perfect’ be the enemy of ‘good.’” Sometimes ‘good enough’ really is good enough.
Here’s a quick reflection prompt to try this week:
What inner voice tends to derail me—and what truth can I tell myself instead?
A few truth-swaps to get you started:
“I have to do it perfectly.” → “Progress matters more than perfection.”
“I’m too far behind.” → “I’m right where I need to start.”
“I can’t do this.” → “I can’t do this yet, and I’m learning as I go.”
Taking Small Steps to Overcome Inner Blocks
Procrastination isn’t a character flaw or laziness—it’s your inner roadblocks talking. However, while those inner blocks don’t disappear overnight, awareness loosens their grip so that you can move past it
We don’t need to silence the voice of fear or doubt—we just need to speak truth a little louder.
Change begins in small, messy, courageous steps—one honest thought, one small action at a time.
If this one hits close to home—especially if you often find yourself overwhelmed—here’s a little something extra to help.
I’ve created a short, free mini-training (just a few minutes long—because who needs more to add to the overwhelm?) that walks you through a simple, practical tool I use regularly to reset and refocus. You can grab it here and share it with a friend who might need it too.
Grab the FREE resource to Overcome Overwhelm.
Remember: the enemy isn’t you—it’s the old stories you’ve been carrying. But here’s the truth: you can rewrite them. One thought. One small step. One brave, imperfect action at a time.
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