What I’ve Learned from My Dog
When I tell people that I have a crazy dog, they laugh and say, “Mine too!” Then they ask me what breed, and I say “Mostly border collie.”
And they say, “oooh.”
They know I win in the crazy dog contest.
Dewey came to us 5 ½ years ago. His breed had been listed as a “Retriever mix” on the rescue’s website. That might be a little bit true. But that’s a generous characterization of my pup. His ears may be “floppy retriever” but his energy and vigilance is alllll border collie.
Dewey’s origin story: He was found as a stray in Cobb County, GA. That’s really all we know. He was saved from the high-kill shelters in the south by a rescue based in Niagara Falls, Canada that arranges dog adoptions throughout western New York and southern Ontario.
We made the adoption arrangements before we met him. (Lucky for him.)
Our “meet-cute”
We eagerly awaited the arrival of the doggie-transport-truck in the back of a Target parking lot on a grey and chilly afternoon in late October. When it pulled in, we braved the biting wind and relentless mist, and gathered around the truck with all the other soon-to-be-pet-parents. You could smell the eagerness and the nervousness wafting off this group, all of us anxious to meet our new fur-ever friends.
Rescue volunteers began to bring out the first few dogs. Small dogs. Nope, not ours.
But then a commotion erupted as a large, white dog with brindle spots careened off the truck, jumping, lunging, and twisting around the poor volunteer who was holding on to his leash for dear life.
Stand back, everyone. He’s all ours.
I’ll pause the story there. It doesn’t get calmer until much, much later.
Gonna need more ice packs
I’ll jump to today, 5 ½ years later, and I’ll give you a summary by the numbers… of injuries (thus far). (Yes, I expect there will be more.)
1 black eye
2 twisted ankles
2 mouth/tooth injuries
2 major face-first “pull downs” (resulting in arm and knee scrapes)
And since I know you’re wondering, yes, all those injuries were mine. Dewey’s just fine. And Chris was not involved.
Oh, and while they are not injuries (and miraculously didn’t cause any) it’s also worth giving a shout out to the 8+ times he’s channeled his inner “escape artist” and gotten away from us.
Yes, we’ve all been to training. Twice.
Let’s move on from the woes and get to the life lesson, shall we?
Hard but True
I really have learned an important lesson from this crazy dog. One that helps me co-exist with my pup, but also helps me move through life on this planet.
I have to respect who he is.
And because – for better and for worse – he’s mine, I have to accept who he is.
And I can still love him, even though he’s not (always) the dog I want him to be.
You see, I want him to be a snuggler and a cuddler, especially at bedtime. I want him to love the water and play in the lake with us. I want him to be docile and friendly when we pass by other dogs. I want him to want to be near us even when we don’t have food.
And none of those things are true.
I spent too much time (and incurred too many injuries) trying to make him into something that he’s not.
We’ve been in a much better place lately, Dewey and I. And I think it’s because I’ve finally accepted that he’s not wired to do those things or want those things. I’ve trained him to do a lot of things. But I know now that I cannot change him.
I’ve come to see that it’s not his job to fulfill my needs or wants. Sure, life would be more snuggly and dog walks would be easier if he would mold himself to my image of “the perfect dog.” But pining for that only traps me in the repeated frustration of an unattainable ideal.
Respecting and accepting who he is, as he is, helps me accept and live in “the real.” Learning to love him as he is opens me up to unexpected joys and helps me find different things to delight in.
It’s amazing what happens when we see another creature as they are, and not as we want them to be.
I’ve been challenging myself to apply this lesson to other creatures besides Dewey. I ask myself:
Who else do I keep trying to change according to MY wishes and preferences? How might I change my own behavior or reactions instead?
What situations do I waste time and energy feeling frustrated about? What opportunities might I find if I instead accepted them as they are and worked with reality creatively?
What am I relentlessly and futilely trying to change about my natural patterns? What might be possible if I accepted and learned to love those parts of myself?
Which of these questions hits home for you right now?
Who or what are you trying to change and simply wishing was different? What might be possible if you accepted what you cannot control and re-directed energy to what you can influence?
Three more lessons
So that’s the profound, unique lesson that Dewey has taught me. But before I close, I thought I’d share a few simpler truths that any of us with a pet can probably relate to. I know that all my fellow dog-people will agree with these… cat-folks, fish-friends, and rodent-fans can send me an email to confirm whether these hold for those species as well.
Naps are good. A good nap really can heal many ills. And it’s always a good day for a nap. Side note: Dewey is the most “active” napper I’ve ever met. He chases, he mumbles, he whinnies, he snores with abandon. I sometimes wonder if he needs a CPAP. He reminds me that: If you’re going to do something, give it your all.
Begging works, sometimes. Especially if the puppy-dog eyes are combined with “the border collie head tilt.” We’re pretty strict, and we don’t usually give in. But sometimes we do. The lesson? If you don’t ask, you won’t get. You just never know when the answer will be yes.
Our pets – especially our dogs – reflect God’s love for us. Why am I giving dogs primacy of place here? Because of the wisdom of Wendy Francisco in this little video, God and Dog. If you’ve never seen this video before, give yourself this gift for the next 2 minutes.
Your take?
I have a friend who once said, “Dogs are better than people, and dogs make people better.”
How have your pets made you a better person?
What wisdom have you learned about life from your furry (or scaly?) friend?
I know there are plenty of pet-people reading this, and I know you have your stories, too, so let me hear from you!
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