What’s the Opposite of Boring?
Happy National Opposite Day!
While the history and meaning of Opposite Day puzzles me, it reminds me of something I once heard that really stuck with me (and does not puzzle me.)
What’s the opposite of “boring?”
Most people (myself included) would initially say, “Exciting!” or maybe “Interesting.”
But I recall my surprise (and intrigue) when the speaker proposed that the opposite of “boring” is “meaningful.”
When we say that something is boring, we’re usually complaining that it doesn’t capture our attention, it doesn’t hold our interest, and it doesn’t evoke any emotion or reaction in us.
Things that are meaningful do.
What about your life?
When talking with clients (or prospective clients), I’ve noticed this sentence popping up: “I’m looking for something more, but I’m not sure what that “more” is.”
Can you relate?
What I hear in that desire for “more” is the continuum between boring and meaningful.
What kind of “more” are you looking for?
I’m guessing you might say “more time.” I get it. (Me too.) But let me push a bit further… if you had the “more time” that you’re looking for, what would that bring to your life? (e.g. “If I had more time, I could spend more time with my family… and that would bring me more joy.”)
Time is just the currency that we use to pay for what we really desire.
So I’ll ask again: What kind of “more” are you looking for?
Is it more meaning, more fulfillment, more purpose? Maybe more peace, more joy, more contentment? Sadly, a lot of the so-called solutions out there that promise those results actually deliver shallow substitutes that offer excitement or interest rather than meaning.
Luckily, living a life of meaning and purpose is possible, it’s not accidental, and it doesn’t require a fortune. But it also doesn’t happen by magic, wishful thinking or “one big decision.” It takes intentionality, and we work at it, small step by small step.
We don’t find “more” in our lives. We develop it. We don’t find meaning or meaningful outcomes. We make them. Here’s how…
There is a framework
Everyone’s life is different. And each person’s circumstances are different. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to developing a life of meaning. What’s meaningful to one may not be meaningful to another. So the content, form, and shape of meaning-making will vary. But I think there is a pretty reliable process and framework for crafting a meaningful life, a life with “more.”
It's the process I am using in my own life, and it’s the framework I’ve used to help my clients develop lives with more meaning and purpose. Because I’ve seen it work, I’m happy to share it with you.
While you can actually start in any place of the framework and go in any order, I’ll explain it “from the ground up” for clarity’s sake.
1. Needs and Values
It starts with knowing our needs and values. And then making choices to advocate for and address those needs. For our values, we look at how well our lives and daily choices align with those values. Our lives are different – and usually more meaningful – when we make decisions that honor our needs and values.
2. Talents and Strengths
We can build even more meaning when we take the time to learn and develop our talents. Living from our areas of strength (not weakness) helps us find more ease, energy, enjoyment and excellence in our lives.
3. Priorities
Another step is gaining clarity about our top priorities. What are the 5-7 most important priorities in your life? And what do you want to accomplish or experience in each of those areas? Making sure that those top priorities are reflected in our lives on a daily or at least weekly basis can go a long way to move life from "boring” to “meaningful.”
4. Schedule, Time, and Meaningful Action
When we choose to schedule our days and spend our time doing the things that matter most to us, we’re naturally going to find more meaning. Nothing sucks life away faster than having to spend lots of time on things that we don’t care about. So the next part of the framework is to learn how to schedule our priorities and how to make progress on the things in life that really matter.
5. Self-Care and Reflection
The last part of the framework is taking care of ourselves and reflecting on our efforts to live with intentionality and purpose. It helps us create the space and time to review our lives periodically, celebrating the wins and learning from the challenges. This reflection and planning process helps us to truly develop meaning in our lives, not find it.
Meaning – not bliss
Now, I’m not naïve. I know that we probably can’t spend every. single. moment. of life in a raptured state of fulfillment, oozing with purpose and meaning. We still have to go to the post office, or the DMV, or the grocery store. Toilets need to be cleaned, carpets need to be vacuumed. At work, there are likely plenty of tasks that just need to be “done.”
It's a question of proportion, and a question of intention. Can we choose to do more of the things that matter and less of what doesn’t? Can we bring a sense of intentionality to even the mundane things we do, so that we don’t miss something extraordinary amidst the ordinary?
The point
I don’t know where you’d plot your life on the continuum between boring and meaningful. And I also have no judgment about where you’d plot it. We’re all doing the best we can to live a meaningful life.
I’m sharing these thoughts to make this point: There is a way of living our lives that can bring us more fulfillment, more meaning, and a stronger sense of purpose. It is possible.
And it’s possible for normal humans. Like you. And me.
I don’t do it perfectly. No one does. We’re not supposed to. That wouldn’t be meaningful. Sometimes the meaning is in the mess.
But I’m using this framework and it’s made a difference in my life. I’ve taught this framework to clients, and it’s helped them craft lives of deeper meaning.
Life doesn’t have to be boring! Life doesn’t have to be meaningless or stagnant. There is a different way to live, one that brings joy, peace, and contentment.
How do we do it? In short, by following the framework I shared. Sure it takes some work, a bit of time, a lot of intentionality. But keep tuning in because I’ll share more on that soon. For now, maybe it’s enough for you to ponder these questions:
What “more” do you want in your life?
How much do you want it?
What gets in the way of going for it?
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