Waiting for Life to Settle Down?

Tell me if this sounds familiar…

For a while, I'd been telling myself that things would settle down after July 1.

It wasn't just wishful thinking. Looking at my calendar back in April and May, it actually seemed plausible. I just needed to get through a string of trips, workshops, deadlines, and commitments.

Then came the wee hours of Saturday, June 27.

I'd gotten home the night before after another week away. I was exhausted and looking forward to sleeping in with no alarm clock for the first time in days.

Instead, I woke up at 5:00 a.m.

My mind jumped ahead to July and August, mentally flipping through my calendar and the ever-growing to-do list of things that those commitments required.

I groaned.  (Internally, so I didn’t wake my sleeping husband.)

July 1 wasn't the finish line I'd imagined.

Before I'd even reached it, I'd already moved the goalpost to Labor Day.

And in full transparency, I've played this game before.

“After this trip...”

“After the holidays...”

“After the busy season...”

“After summer...”

There's always another date on the calendar – or a mysterious “someday” – that promises a little more margin, a little more breathing room, a little more space to finally do the things I've been putting off.

But, as one of my business mentors often says, “Someday is not a date on the calendar.  WHEN are you going to do it?”

Now to be fair, there really are seasons when waiting is the wisest choice.

If you're caring for a dying parent, walking through a medical crisis, navigating a family emergency, or surviving the busiest season of your work, adding one more commitment may not be the right answer.

Sometimes our situations really do need to change before we can do something.

And sometimes, we become so focused on what we can’t change that we lose sight of what we can.

When we find ourselves waiting for life to settle down before we begin, it may be time for a moment of discernment.

Am I wisely waiting…

Or am I waiting for my circumstances to do work that only I can do?

Sometimes the circumstances need to change before we can do something.

Sometimes we need to change before the circumstances ever will.

I've seen this play out more than once in my coaching.

I’ve had people consider coaching, but delay because the season was too busy or filled with too much transition.  I could see that they were right, and was delighted when they circled back around after a time.

But I’ve also had clients who’ve started the work even though it was a busy season.  Maybe even especially because it was an overwhelming season.  

One woman began our work describing her life as “chaos.”  When we finished, many of the circumstances in her life hadn't changed at all.  But she had.

She looked at me and said, "The chaos is still there. But somehow everything is different because I'm different. I'm centered in the chaos."

Another client's life circumstances actually became harder as we worked together. New challenges kept piling on, and her life got harder. There were plenty of reasons for her to feel defeated.

Instead, I saw something different.

Yes, she was angry, sad, and hurting. 

But she was peaceful and calm.  

It would have been easier for her to wait.  

But it wouldn’t have been better for her.

She couldn’t escape the storm.  But she’s become a different person inside it.

My mentor was right.

Someday isn't a date on the calendar.

And neither is "when life settles down."

Sometimes the most life-giving thing we can do is begin before everything feels ready.

Not because life has become easier.

But because we've decided not to let our circumstances determine what’s possible..

I'm still living for Labor Day.  But instead of waiting for a season with no challenges, I’m trying to become the kind of person who can live well inside whatever season I'm given.

Because while I can't control everything that's happening around me, I have more influence over what's happening within me than I sometimes remember.

With you,

Kathy

P.S. If your life feels anything but settled, one of the best places to begin is getting clear about what you truly need and value. It’s been my personal go-to, and it's often where I start with coaching clients, too. My free Needs & Values Reflection Guide can help you find your footing and make choices that fit the life you’re living—not the life you're waiting for. Download it here.

Like this blog? 

Sign up to get new posts delivered directly to your inbox!