The past several months have been particularly full of travel, presentations, coaching engagements, and all the preparation that goes along with them. But as of last week, the work travel is complete, and I'm finally looking at a calendar with a little more breathing room.
And I'm looking forward to it!
But there's something I've learned about myself over the years.
Just because my calendar slows down doesn't mean I will.
I've experienced this before. In my previous career, the first two months of each year were exceptionally busy as we prepared for a major weekend youth conference.
And I remember the weeks afterward being strangely disorienting. I'd gotten so used to devoting evenings and weekends to work that I struggled to create a new normal once the event was over.
I've noticed that pattern continuing in my current work. During a particularly busy season, I'll wish for a little more time and space. But when that opportunity finally arrives, I have a tendency to keep right on working at the same pace.
When Slowing Down Isn’t So Simple
There's always something else I could do. Another project to tackle. Something to plan, prepare, or improve.
My CliftonStrengths Achiever talent loves a good to-do list — especially checking things off!
Even when I decide to stop working, unfinished tasks have a way of tugging at me.
Will I have enough time tomorrow to finish that? What if something unexpected comes up? Wouldn't it be easier to just get a little more done today?
And sometimes, I simply don't want to stop because I'm enjoying what I'm doing!
I genuinely love my work. I'm not trying to escape something I dread.
But I recognize that if I'm not careful, something I love can crowd out other things I love, too.
And while my Achiever drive is strong, there are other parts of me that long for peace, reflection, connection, and depth.
And those parts of me deserve some attention, too.
So when I realized that my travel schedule would finally be slowing down toward the end of October, I knew I had an opportunity.
Not a guarantee of a slower season. After all, I could easily fill those newly available days with more work.
But an opportunity to be intentional about how I wanted to spend my time.
And this time, I wanted to approach it differently.
What Am I Saying Yes To?
The week before my final work trip, I spent a coaching session with one of my own coaches, talking about my difficulty with downshifting.
We explored some of the thinking that keeps me working, even when I don't necessarily need to.
And I was reminded of something I often tell my own clients:
It's easier to say no when you have a bigger yes.
It's hard for me to say no to work when I don't have something meaningful to say yes to instead.
So I started making a list.
I'm calling it my Bigger Yes List.
It's a collection of things I want to make more room for in this next season. Things I've missed doing. Things I already enjoy but want to do more often. And a few things I've been putting off until that elusive "someday, when I have more time."
I organized my list into four categories: Rest, Renewal, Review, and Growth.
There's reading novels (just for fun!), making soup, enjoying coffee or game nights with friends, visiting local museums, and exploring some new places outdoors.
There's also time for journaling, spiritual reflection, reading books that help me grow, and doing some longer-range planning and reflection as the year comes to a close.
And I'm hoping to experiment with something I've wanted to practice more intentionally for a while: a true Sabbath. One whole day without work.
Now, if you're thinking that sounds suspiciously like another to-do list...
Believe me, the irony is not lost on me!
The last thing I need is another list of things to accomplish, especially one that turns rest and renewal into assignments.
But that's not what I want this to be.
More Than Another To-Do List
I've mentioned before that I have a personal Rule of Life — a framework that helps me live more intentionally, in alignment with who I am, what matters most, and who I want to become.
My Bigger Yes List is connected to that Rule of Life.
These aren't just activities to fill empty hours. They're expressions of the abundant life I want to live. A life that reflects wholeness and makes room for meaningful work, relationships, rest, reflection, learning, laughter, and the simple enjoyment of being alive.
The challenge, of course, is that knowing what matters and actually making room for it are two different things.
And sometimes, I need to interrupt my own momentum to make that happen.
A Little Ctrl+Alt+Delete
So last Thursday, after getting off the plane from my final work trip, I went to the library and checked out a stack of novels.
One was by a favorite author, and I had only seven days before it was due back.
A deadline for reading fiction? Now that's a deadline I could get excited about!
On Friday, I wrapped up work early, and Chris and I headed to our cottage for the weekend.
I read. We walked along the lake at dusk… and in the morning fog. We watched movies. I enjoyed having nowhere in particular I needed to be and nothing especially urgent I needed to accomplish.
It was my version of a hard reset.
Not because anything terrible had happened or I was at some breaking point. I simply wanted to interrupt the momentum of constant work and give myself a chance to settle into a different rhythm.
Did I manage to avoid doing anything that resembled work for the entire weekend?
Of course not.
I spent part of Saturday morning reading an advance copy of a friend's upcoming book so I could offer a testimonial.
Technically, it was a task. Something someone had asked me to do.
But it was also something I genuinely enjoyed, and something I probably wouldn't have made time for a month or two ago.
And perhaps that's part of what I'm learning.
Slowing down doesn't necessarily mean doing nothing. It means being more intentional about what I choose to do, and letting my deep desires get a chance to see the light of day.
And by Sunday night, I'd finished that seven-day library novel. (Apparently, a deadline still works wonders for my Achiever, even when I'm relaxing!)
More importantly, I'd given myself the time to get lost in a good book. Something I've been missing.
Making Time for What Matters
I'm only a few days into this experiment, so I can't tell you yet how it's going to turn out.
So far, I've started building more margin into my calendar, and I'm trying to resist the temptation to fill it all back up.
I'm also reminding myself that my Bigger Yes List isn't another set of expectations I need to meet.
It's an invitation to give some of those other parts of me the time and attention they deserve.
And it's a reminder of the life I want to live.
A life that includes work I love, but also time for relationships, rest, renewal, reflection, and a few things I've been putting off until "someday."
I suspect I'm not the only one who has a few of those.
Maybe it's a hobby you've been meaning to return to. A friendship you'd like to nurture. A place you've wanted to visit. Or simply a little more space to enjoy the life you're already living.
So I'm curious...
What's on your Bigger Yes List?
What have you been missing? What would you love to do more often? And what have you been saving for "someday, when things slow down"?
And what might change if you started making room for one of those things now?
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