When You Know Something’s Missing, But You Don’t Know What
A couple of years ago, I realized something was missing from my life.
I was working a lot. And while I loved my work, I was beginning to notice that it had gotten a little too big. There wasn't much room left for things that were simply fun.
Eventually, I found a name for what I wanted more of: Creative Play.
That felt important. Like I'd figured something out.
Except…I hadn't really.
Because what exactly was Creative Play?
Did I want to take an art class? Start writing something that had nothing to do with work? Learn to play an instrument? I knew something was missing, but I couldn't yet picture what would fill the space.
So for a while, nothing changed.
A few months later, I did what any highly skilled explorer of life's deeper questions would do.
I Googled.
I poked around online looking for possibilities. And somewhere in that searching, I found a local women's chorus.
I love to sing. I hadn't done much of it in years. Maybe this was something?
I looked at their website.
And then…I closed the website.
For another three months.
By October, Creative Play was still on my mind. Or maybe more accurately, I could still feel the absence of it. Work was still taking up plenty of space. I still wanted something in my life that was just for the joy of doing it.
So I went back to the chorus website.
And this time, something was different.
They were preparing for a Christmas performance and inviting non-members to join them. Come to three rehearsals. Learn three songs. Sing with us at the Christmas show.
That was it.
Three rehearsals. Three songs. One performance.
I didn't have to decide whether I wanted to join a chorus. It was free. It was only three rehearsals. I didn't have to make some big commitment to a new hobby or a new group of people.
I could just try it.
And other new people would be trying it with me.
For the first time since I'd written those two words — Creative Play — months earlier, I could actually picture what they might look like in my life.
I could finally see a way in.
I've thought about that experience a lot since then.
Because sometimes we know something isn't quite right long before we know what we want instead.
We know we're tired of being so busy.
We know work has taken up too much space.
We know we've been taking care of everyone else and have somehow lost track of ourselves along the way.
Or maybe it's harder to name than that.
There's just this nagging sense that something doesn't fit anymore.
Who am I now?
What do I want in this season?
What's next?
Is this all there is?
Those are big questions. And knowing enough to ask them doesn't mean we immediately know the answers.
I think sometimes that's where we get stuck.
It's hard to imagine what's next when all I know is that this isn't quite it.
Naming Creative Play was a clue for me. An important one. But it took time to understand what I was really looking for — and longer still before I could see something concrete enough to try.
Maybe that's where you are, too.
Maybe you know something feels off, but you couldn't tell me exactly what needs to change.
Maybe you know you want “more,” but you're not sure what the more is.
Maybe you know you've changed, but your life hasn't quite caught up with who you are now.
Not knowing what comes next doesn't mean there isn't a next.
Sometimes we just need enough space to notice what's missing…and begin imagining what might fit instead.
That's part of why I'm offering Find Your Fit: A 3-Day Challenge for Living a Life That Fits This Season next month.
For three days, September 15–17, we'll create some space to step out of life-as-usual and pay attention to what matters now — what you need, what you value, what deserves your attention, and one small change that could help your life fit a little better.
You don't have to know what you're looking for before you come.
Maybe you just need a way in.
Like this blog?
Sign up to get new posts delivered directly to your inbox!