Rediscover Who You Are Now: Reclaim Your Real Self
Sometimes we get so busy keeping life together that we lose sight of who we really are. I was talking recently with a woman I’ll call Linda. She’s successful and grounded — running her own business, deeply involved in her family, church, and community. On the outside, everything looks…fine. Maybe even impressive. But on the inside? She feels unsure, frazzled, stuck “in between.”
When I asked Linda what she’d like her life to look like in six months or a year, she didn’t know. She said she’d gotten so used to deferring her own dreams that she wasn’t sure she had any left — or how to create them. She remembered the person she once was, the dreams she used to chase, and wondered, “How did I get here?” Her words stuck with me: “If I were an artist’s palette, I’d feel muted instead of vibrant.”
Linda wanted to “get back to me” — but when I asked who that “me” was, she wasn’t sure. Deep down, she longed to release fears and insecurities and feel as confident inside as she appears to the world.
But it’s hard to be confident when we’re not sure who we are anymore.
The Slow Fade: How We Lose Touch With Ourselves
Most of us don’t wake up one day and decide to lose touch with ourselves. It’s a slow drift. Small patterns accumulate until suddenly, we realize we’ve been living someone else’s life, or at least a version of our life muted by obligation, fear, or habit.
I’ve seen it over and over again with my clients—here are a few examples (names changed):
Saying yes when you wanted to say no: Jessica, a chronic people-pleaser, let everyone else’s demands run her schedule and her life.
Equating worth with productivity: Christine was always chasing the next leadership role, certification, or project, believing that enough-ness could only be earned through doing.
Putting your own needs last for so long you don’t even notice: Beth — daughter, wife, mom, grandmother, ministry leader — slowly realized she was the only person she never took care of.
Roles taking over identity: Kristie knew there was a “me” outside her roles as wife, mom, and teacher, but she wasn’t sure how to find her anymore.
Over time, these patterns add up, leaving life neither bad nor vibrant — just muted. There’s a quiet ache, a sense that something is missing, and the constant hum of “Is this all there is?”
Signs You’ve Lost Touch with Your Real Self
You might notice:
You can’t remember the last time you did something just because you wanted to. (And you’re not even sure what you would do if you could!)
You feel stuck “in between” phases or identities (or just stuck in a rut you’re not sure you can get out of).
You long for more vibrancy, authenticity, or connection in your life, but aren’t sure how to create it.
Linda’s experience reflected all of these. She knew she wanted more — to feel like herself again — but the specifics were blurry.
The Deeper Invitation: Remembering Who You Are
Here’s the good news: your real self isn’t gone. She’s still there, waiting for you to notice. Reconnecting isn’t about creating a “new” you — it’s about uncovering, remembering, and allowing the self God created to shine again.
I have a sign on my office wall that says “The world needs who you were made to be.” I believe that about me – but I believe it about you too. God created each one of us with unique gifts and for a distinct purpose.
This kind of inner work is not selfish. It’s soul stewardship. When you tend to the real you — your needs, your values, your dreams — the ripple effect touches your family, your work, your community. You begin to move through life from a place of clarity and authenticity instead of obligation and habit.
Ask yourself: Who would I be if I allowed myself to release the fears, habits, and roles that are keeping me muted?
And then: What impact would being more of my real self have on those around me?
Tiny Steps, Big Shifts: Finding Yourself Again
Small, intentional steps can make a profound difference:
Claim micro-moments for yourself — time to rest, reflect, or do something you love.
Say yes to a desire that sparks life or joy, not because it’s expected, but because you’re worth it.
Create simple, nourishing rhythms in your day — rituals that remind you who you are — beyond what you do for others.
Kristie, for example, found ways to incorporate her artistic talents into her daily life. Giving herself permission to express her creativity helped her realign with her deepest self and begin carving an identity that wasn’t solely defined by her roles. These small acts became anchors, guiding her back to a fuller sense of self.
Finding Your People on the Path Back to You
Reconnection with yourself isn’t instant, and it’s rarely easy. But you don’t have to do it alone. Linda, Jessica, Christine, Beth, and Kristie are all examples of women walking this path — and there are many more like them. If any part of their stories feels familiar, know this: you are not alone.
The journey toward your real self is easier and richer among peers who understand the struggle — other soul-guided women who long to release, reclaim, and reconnect with what matters most.
Reclaim Your Colors, Rediscover You
Even the smallest act of noticing yourself, honoring a need, or claiming a moment for joy can start to shift the muted tones of your life into something vibrant.
Think of the trees in autumn — for months, their leaves might appear ordinary, green, almost unnoticed. Then, with time and the right conditions, they burst into color, brilliant and unmistakable.
Your life can do the same. The vibrant colors of who you are aren’t gone; they’re simply waiting for the light of attention, intention, and care to bring them out again.
You don’t have to make everything perfect or “fix” every corner of your life all at once. You just need to begin noticing, choosing, and gently realigning with your true self — the part of you that has quietly waiting, ready to be remembered and expressed.
If you’re longing to reclaim that vibrancy and be who you were made to be, there’s a space to start: Reset Your Rhythm: 3 Days to Realign with What Matters Most. Over three guided sessions (along with practical worksheets), you’ll take small, doable steps to begin coloring in the muted parts of your life — alongside women who understand what it feels like to be “in between,” who are ready to reclaim their real selves, too.
Even starting with just a single leaf — a tiny choice, a small moment, a gentle yes to yourself — can be the first step toward rediscovering who you are now. Step by step, season by season, you can reclaim your real self and begin living from that vibrant, authentic place again.
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