The Real Reason a New Job Won’t Fix Your Life
Sometimes the fantasy of quitting it all and moving to the beach is less about the beach—and more about what’s missing in the life I already have.
We’ve all had moments like that, haven’t we? Staring out the window during a long meeting… scrolling job postings when we can’t sleep… dreaming about a little house on a quiet lake or a cabin in the mountains or, yes, a cottage by the sea.
I have a friend who actually did it. She sold most of her stuff, packed up what was left, and moved to the sunny sands of a southern beach. She’s thriving. But here’s the thing—it’s not just because she changed her zip code. It’s because she got honest about what mattered most in her life now. She realized she wasn’t in the same “striving” phase of her career anymore. She wanted a pace that left room for more life outside of work, more time with her family, and more beauty and adventure in her everyday. She found a remote job that challenged her just enough—and didn’t own her. She reordered her life around her values and needs—and that’s the real reason she’s happy where she is.
Sometimes, yes, a big external change is the right move. But more often than we realize, the change we actually need isn’t about a new job, a new house, or a new location. It’s about a new way to live—right where we are.
The Myth of the Big Fix
It’s easy to see why we jump to external solutions:
They’re tangible—we can imagine them in detail.
They’re socially rewarded—people “ooh” and “ahh” when someone makes a bold, visible move.
They give us a temporary sense of control when life feels chaotic.
But here’s the hidden risk: we take ourselves with us.
And with us come the things we’d rather leave behind—like…
The same unhelpful patterns that keep us overextended.
The same blurry or weak boundaries that drain our energy.
The same unaligned values that make our days feel off-center.
The same unmet needs we’ve been ignoring.
Without addressing those deeper layers, the new job, new city, or new adventure might look different… but it will feel the same.
Why Feeling Stuck Isn’t What You Think It Is
I was surprised one day when a friend called to tell me she’d withdrawn a job application she’d been excited about. When I asked why, she said, “I realized I was romanticizing it.”
She’d been feeling stale in her current job, so “something different” looked amazing. But when she really thought it through, she realized the same issues would follow her—like her habit of overworking, her lack of boundaries, and her constant feeling that she didn’t have enough time for rest, renewal, or family. A new title wasn’t going to magically create work-life balance. The only thing that would change was the scenery.
That’s what happens so often: we think the dissatisfaction is about where we are or what we’re doing, but it’s really about how we’re living.
You might be here if:
You’re exhausted but can’t quite pinpoint why.
You fantasize about “somewhere else” or “something else” but aren’t sure it’s the real solution.
You’ve made big changes before… and the same frustrations crept back in.
It’s not necessarily about changing where you are—it’s about changing how you live where you are.
Reordering Life from the Inside Out
This is one of the reasons I created my Real Life Refresh program. I’ve seen over and over that the shifts that make the biggest difference don’t start with your doing—they start with your being.
Our “doing” is the work, the responsibilities, the commitments. It’s where we tend to focus when we want something to change.
“If I could just do this better…”
But if the “being”—our real self—isn’t aligned, no amount of rearranging the doing will bring peace or purpose.
When we start with the being—getting clear on who we are, what we value, and how we want to live—our doing naturally changes. We make different choices. We create different rhythms.
And the outside starts to reflect what’s true on the inside.
A new way to live can take many forms, but here are three I see most often:
1. Realigning with Needs and Values
Barb discovered and named her needs—and realized she’d been expecting other people to meet them. As she’s taken responsibility for addressing them herself, her relationships have improved. “Now I know how I want to live,” she told me. She feels like she’s moving out of the fog of chaos into a life with clarity and fulfillment.
2. Resetting Rhythms
Jeannette learned the value of pausing and reflecting. She stepped out of the frantic pattern of always doing and began creating space to breathe and take care of herself. She still accomplishes a lot—maybe even more than before—but she’s doing it from a place of wholeness, clarity, and grace.
3. Reclaiming Identity
Leigh’s identity had become overtaken by the volunteer roles she kept saying yes to. As she clarified her true priorities, she recognized her pattern of overcommitting—often at the expense of her own needs and desires. She made brave choices to be the person she wants to be—the person she believes God is calling her to be—and is opening a new chapter of her life.
A Simple Step to Start Living Differently Today
If you’ve been feeling restless, try this:
List three changes you’ve been fantasizing about.
Under each one, write what you hope it will give you.
Ask: How else in my life could I create that same outcome—without changing my circumstances?
You might be surprised at the ways you can begin to live differently today—before you update your résumé, call a realtor, or pack a single box.
How to Make Small Changes That Lead to Big Life Wins
If you’re ready to start shifting your life from the inside out—without having to make a massive leap—join me for Reset Your Rhythm: 3 Days to Realign with What Matters Most.
In this live, guided reset we’ll start making these inner shifts together.
In about an hour a day, over three days, you’ll:
Get clarity on what matters most to you right now.
Learn small, doable actions that help you live that out every day.
Experience the encouragement of a community of women who get it.
By the end, you’ll have simple, meaningful changes you can start right away—so the life you’re living looks and feels more like the life you want.
Click here to join Reset Your Rhythm
A Final Note
Whether or not you join me to Reset Your Rhythm, here’s what I hope you remember: you don’t have to uproot your life to create meaningful change.
The real shift starts inside—getting honest about what matters most, meeting your own needs, and aligning your daily choices with your true self.
When we live from the inside out, the rest starts to fall into place. And sometimes… that’s even better than the beach.
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